Where are You leading me?

So I know You are leading me somewhere.  Somewhere away from where I am, but I don't see where yet. I'm want to be patient; I know your timing is the only right timing, but I sure want to know now.  I've been feeling it lately, leading me away from where I am.  Today you confirmed it.  I've never felt needed in my entire life than I do right now.  My children need me and it hurts that I am not here for them.  I know you will show me Your plan when Your time is right.  Help me patient for it, help me to see it, my heart to be open for it and to be obedient to whatever the calling is, wherever it is, whenever it is, no matter what others may say or think...no matter what I say or think.  Because I know in the end it is Your will and will give me the opportunity to be the servant, wife, and mother you've called me to be.  In the meantime, watch over my precious children.  Keep them safe physically and emotionally.  Keep them safe from evil.  

Bless the Lord, Oh my soul

Have you ever actually comprehended the words of the song 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman?  Not only have I sung this song many many times in church and heard it on the radio or my pandora stations, but I also own the song.  It is not unusual for me not to really know the lyrics of a song.  Scott and I discuss this all the time. He hears music and he first hears the lyrics. I hear music and the first thing I notice is typically the beat.  So it was no surprise to him when I mentioned, "have you ever listened to the words of that song?"  Tonight I had the opportunity to, once again, sing this song at church, but tonight...it was different.

"Bless the Lord, Oh my soul"-so many times, we ask the Lord to bless our soul...when we really should be asking our soul, to bless the Lord.

"Worship His Holy name"-again, we tend to show up for worship, for us, versus the Lord, who we should be showing up to worship.

Then the part that got to me the most:

"The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning.  It's time to sing your song again.  Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me.  Let me be singing when the evening comes."-it's not singing literally...I mean it is but its more like living.  No matter what life has thrown at me yesterday or what it throws at me 5 minutes from now, I should be singing when the evening comes.

Then it goes on and lists the many promises in God's character, things I strive for, or should be striving for.

I praise God for the lyrics and talents He gives to people.  I am passionate about music and I am so thankful He uses music to speak to me, encourage me, and even convict me as this song did tonight.  Dear Lord, help my sould to bless you!

Where's my Effort at?

I've struggled lately....  I put so much effort towards the next level.  Why?  To gain worldly things?  Things that have temporal meaning?  I need to change my effort level on everything in life. Less effort on the things of this world:  success, prosperity, advancement, stuff...  More effort on God.  I want people to look at me and say, "is that all she cares about....God?  That's all she talks about....she kind of sounds like she's lost it". I don't want people to think of me as someone who put a lot of effort into my job or success or goals.  I want to be the person who put all my most effort into Christ.  I want to desire His will.  I want that desire to be so empowering that it is all I can think about. Math at I am impatient for it and I strive for it. Not just for a moment or based off a whim of emotion, I want the desire to be permanent.  Something that never goes away.  I want it to consume me.

Lord, don't let that desire fade.  Help it to burn and be a constant reminder....especially tomorrow.

Goals - Post #7 Day One of the Rest of My Life

How quickly fires burn out.  Our excitement and desire fades.  How quickly a person of routine quickly strays.  That's what this past week has been.  I went out of town for work and quickly convinced myself I was too tired, too busy or just badly lacking self discipline to follow through with my goals.  I even had excuses, not good ones, but excuses to convince myself not to keep up with my goals.  How quickly we fall.  So here I am, trying to start again, on a day where I didn't really give much thought to my goals.  Luckily my commitment to read the bible continued, mostly, I did miss a day or two, but of all my goals, this one stood firm.  I'm not going to write out each goal today simply because I didn't put much thought into them as the day progressed.  I have read my bible, I do plan to floss, although I'm super tired.  I returned to spin class today and my body is in somewhat of a shock!  Again, another excuse Lol!  I appreciated my kids today as they hung out in my office while I worked and I do believe I was quite encouraging to my new guy at work helping him and encouraging him as I walked him through work and helped him learn different pieces of work.  

I love this new song my Matthew West, it couldn't be more encouraging to me on a day like today.

http://youtu.be/Qq2Tp3asLU8

Goals - Post #6

#7 Floss Daily

Yeppers!

#6 Stay with your budget

Again, weekends seem to be budgetsless so I guess I'm doing ok today.

#5 Appreciate Now

I am thankful for our church.  The people are always so loving, I adore so many of them. Mother are family.  The leadership stays focused on the Lord and is not consumed with number of people that walk in the door, but more importantly the number of sould that surrender To the Lord.  I am thankful for those I serve in ministry with and I lift them up to the Lord.  Today, I laid a special very important person before the Lord at the alter.  I pray for their salvation and complete surrender to the Lord.  I will persevere because I have faith as long as I am obedient He will answer my prayer.

#4 Encourage More

Hmmm....I am encouraging someone from the sidelines today.  Not in any public way but simply lifting them up to the Lord.  For growth and strength, obedience and faithfulness.

#3 Quit Complaining

Again, today, I found that I complained a little more.  It is ironic that I complained more this weekend than I have at work this past week.  I guess it just shows I need to be just as aware and prayerful at home as I need to be at work.  

#2 Observe More, Speak Less

I found myself getting caught up in the fun and not really focusing on this.  It is at this time, that I feel I should be most aware of my observing and my speaking. 

#1 Read your Bible Daily

Yes :)

Goals - Post #5

#7 Floss  Daily
Why of course!  Twice actually, if you count getting a piece of coconut out of my back teeth :)

#6 Give myself a Budget and Stick with it
It is Saturday, a little more difficult for Goal #2.  I kind of consider the weekends budgetless since we stay so busy.  I spent more at Starbucks than I usually do but in return was able to bless two people special to me in the process!  We ate out for lunch since we were on the run.  Other than that...I don't think any other money was really spent.

#5 Appreciate Now
I got to spend some time with Abigail today.  She decided at the last minute she wanted to get her hair cut so we did.  It is really cute.  I enjoyed sharing that time with her and that excitement as well.  Time with the BFF is always great and I got to try out the new Costco...I love it.  Totally becoming a member as soon as I get back from Orlando.  Got to spend time with mom and Nanny too.  It was nice.  Also played Candy Land with Scott and the kids and didn't mind that I lost!

#4 Encourage More
I had the opportunity to bless two of my friends with Starbucks but also bless an entire family that I adore.  Each member with such as special friend for different reasons.  I pray for their loss but Praise God for sharing their special service with me.  I pray that I was able to provide some comfort in a sincere and loving hug and my prayers.  I still have not addressed all those letters I have.  I really need to do it before I leave for Orlando!!

#3 Quit Complaining
I found myself complaining a little more today.  Most of it was just sharing a couple scenarios with Scott and the BFF.  Do you think confiding in people is bad?  I mean the world says to confide, get it off your chest, is all ok, but what does the Lord say!?  Should we not even notice those situations where we feel like we should be confiding in???  Should we be looking the other way completely to the extent that it does not even bother us???  Is it a heart issue that we "feel the need" to divulge these scenarios or situations to other people, even if it is people we trust wholeheartedly?

#2 Observe More, Speak Less
I'm really failing at this.  I think sometimes I might observe more but the Speak Less really does come as a difficult task for me.  Sometimes I feel like I should just put a huge piece of duck tape on my mouth just so I'd remember to speak less.  It is not that what I am saying is bad.  It is usually random or worthless ramble that means nothing.  I just want to be still and quiet and observe what I am missing.  I don't want to be so loud that I don't hear God speak.

#1 Read my Bible Daily
I am loving the Bible App.  Don't get me wrong, I still love holding the Bible in my hands and flipping through the delicate pages.  Something about having it in your hands; it becomes tangible, so real.  BUT I like that I can see what people I am close to are reading.  It is an encouragement to see it.  I like that I can  <3 what people are reading and vice versa.  I like seeing others interacting with the Lord's Word and interacting with me and what I am learning, reading, and experiencing within the Bible.  Today I continue to read Proverbs.  Such widom that encourages, guides, and fulfills me.  Praise the Lord!

Goals - Post #4

#7 Floss Daily
Yes

#6 Give myself a Budget and Stick with it
Today was the first day I have gone out to lunch with our group in a while.  We went to Cheesecake Factory (also a first for me since it opened less than a block away from the tower) and I spent $25 (including tip) .....definitely made up for lost time on my budget ;)  BUT is still within the monthly budget Scott and I agreed to so I am good.  Just can't make a habit out of eating there AND getting cheesecake ;)

#5 Appreciate Now
Today I worked hard on a project and made a little progress, not as much as I would have liked, but a little is better than none, right?  I did resolve a pretty big issue at work with some screens freezing up.  I coordinated the conference call and in the end resolved the issue and communicated it out to every one.  All in all I think every one is pretty happy with my work, which is good!  I appreciate my mom letting the kids spend the night tomorrow as we have a pretty busy day tomorrow.  I am excited to hear what our Pastor has to share regarding our new year vision and am excited to work with my ministry team to incorporate it into the Lil' Ministry as well.

#4 Encourage More
I probably did not do a lot of encouraging today, but I don't believe I was discouraging either.  My interactions and relationships were good.  I was even given some unexpectant props today and I didn't gloat or boast.  I believe I took a humble approach and recognized someone for all their hard work they have been putting in.

#3 Quit Complaining
I caught myself complaining one time today.  Scott and I ordered pizza.  We ordered some stuffed cheesy bread and we had to pay extra for one thing of marinara.  Now one would think you would get one free with your cheesy bread order but that was not the case.  It wasn't a big angry complaint.  I just happen to hear the words calmly come out of my mouth...and then slapped my mouth closed.  I said....I am not complaining!  And I shouldn't have.  I mean, I have money that allowed me to order pizza for dinner.  I even had enough money to buy cheesy bread AND pay for extra sauce.  I got to eat that pizza...in a warm house with comfy clothes.  I do not need to complain about spending .50 cents on marinara sauce!

#2 Observe More, Speak Less
I went to lunch with a group of co-workers.  There was silence.  It was nice.  It was unusual.  I observed the quietness....mainly because it is hard for me to be quiet but I remained quiet.  It wasn't a big deal, nothing fascinating happened in this silence.  But it was a big deal for me to consciously be aware of the opportunity to remain quiet...and I did.

#1 Read My Bible Daily
Yes continuing Proverbs

Goals - Post #3

#7 Floss Daily

yes!

#6 Give Myslef a Budget and Stick with it!

No money spent today!

#5 Appreciate Now

Good things:  I made a lot of progress on a project I've been kind of stressing over.  Praise the Lord!  Outreach was tonight and not only was it awesome to visit with a young lady who has been visiting our church but I had such a lovely partner to join Scott and I.  I pray we were able to be an encouragement to her as much as she was to us!  Today Elliott kissed Julianne and then claimed he would be marrying her. Mit was so sweet.  Totally gonna have to teach him that it is not right, but it was really cute.  Abigail is loving karate and I'm loving watching her excitement.  It's really neat to see her defend herself and learn new moves.  Today was a good day....which helps me use my goal #2 observe more....

#4 Encourage More

I have finished all my encouragement cards, I just need to address them and get them in the mail.  I even wrote Gail's today!  I felt like I was very encouraging at work as well.

#3 Quit complaining

Imdidnwell with no complaining today...had some opportunities. Im recognized it and was able to redirect.  Thank you Lord for helping me recognize it.  I can't do this without you and I pray you continue to help me recognize it since it is such a damaging characteristic to your witness.  

#2 Observe More, Speak Less

Although I do not think I spoke less today, I do believe I observed a little bit more.  See day 1 of goals was a "bad" day and was actually what helped trigger the goal, so ideally day #2 was going to be better...right?...but it wasn't.  It actually in some sense felt worse.  But I kept pressing on. Msg day #3 has been really good.  So do you get content, hey this is working so I don't need to press on or try any harder or put any faith or reliance of God pleading to make it better...right? That is what I observed.  I observed that satan will try to push you away from ur goals.  And if that doesn't work, well then he will just make you comfortable and content.  Today was good. Tomorrow is a good day. It's a day that can go good or go bad, but it is important for me to keep my focus on my goals and my walk with the Lord.  Because the minute I get content and comfortable and take my eyes off the Lord, I will fail.  Now there is still so much more room to be observant and definitely room to talk less!!

#1 Read My Bible Daily

YES!  I have really been enjoying Proverbs!  Chapters 6-8 today.  If you are seeing some overlapping, I'm really not keeping great track of where I leave off so sometimes I go backwards and then go forward a little.  I don't mind reading it again.  The Lord shows u something new each time!

Goals - Post #2

#7 Floss Daily 

Pearly White! 😆

#6 Give myself a budget and stick with it

I had every opportunity to eat out for lunch today and I still made effort to bring my lunch.  Now part of it might have been because I didn't want to fight the cold and walk anywhere for lunch I'm ended up being so busy that lunch never came but I didn't spend any money :) still waiting on Scott to give me my budget. 

#5 Appreciate Now

I failed a lot today.  It's rough at work right now. I'm thankful I have a job.  It pays our bills and it has been a financial blessing.  I know the Lord brought me to this job.  I complained about a current task I'm assigned and I complained about expectations that seem very unrealistic.  It's a struggle and I complained.  It doesn't make it right.  I still shouldn't complain.  I caught myself a few times saying, "I to quit complaining". I am glad I recognized it, but now I need to recognize it before I speak. Mathis brings me to the next obvious failed goal today.  I didn't observe, I didn't keep quiet.  I pray I can move from recognition to control.  Abigail made a 92 on her quarter Science Test.  I'm proud of her for the studying she has been doing lately. It has been very easy on us and she has been taking responsibility of her studies.  Elliott was so sweet when I came home.  He hugged and loved on me which made what felt like a rough day feel so much better.  It's cold outside.  I'm warm inside.  Praise The Lord!  How wonderful Wednesday night prayer service is!  Thank you Lord!  Thank you for the lesson on being a peacemaker.  I want to be a peacemaker in all situations of my life.  I pray that I can be obedient with that commandment in ALL situations.  Me, be a peacemaker. Min an do it with His strength, not my own.  

#4 Encourage More

We have a member of our church who is battling cancer.  The women's ministry leader is putting together a basket for her.  I am contributing some lotion and maybe a candle. I am also planning to send a card to her to encourage her.  I will post once that is completed because I don't want to post something I really haven't done yet.  I want this to be a way for me to be accountable and don't want to make empty promises.  I completed my encouragement cards to the Wednesday Lil' ministry workers.  Now all I need to do is address them, stamp them and mail them.  Yay!

#3 Quit Complaining

Failed as stated above in appreciate now

#2 Observe More, Talk Less

Failed.  I spent a great deal talking with my boss.  Trying to get a point across.  I should have kept quiet, listened and observed more.  Quit beating the dead horse!

#1 read my Bible daily

 I read Proverbs 5 & 6, at church we studied peacemaker and psalms 37.  

Goals - Post #1

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

7.  Did I floss? Yes!

6.  Do I have a budget yet? I've discussed it with Scott, now we just need to come up with the number!

5.  Have I encouraged today?  Today someone who is very faithful to our Lil' Ministries cried out for prayer,  she is struggling.  I texted her words of encouragement and asked other leaders to remember her in prayer.

4.  Appreciate Now:  I am excited about establishing my goals and keeping them.  I hated an argument I had with someone I care about.  It actually has a lot to do with some of the goals I came up with.  I feel like keeping the goals, will help me learn and grow from mistakes I made today.  I am thankful for my husband.  He constantly amazes me (and puts up with me). I'm thankful for BFFs who care about me and my husband.  I am thankful for Abigail's friend's parents who see things the way we see things resulting in similar parenting and guidance for our children.  A network like that makes going through this life so much easier.  It feels good to know we are making good decisions for our children.  I'm thankful for difficult relationships which teach us about other people and ourselves.  

3.  Did I complain? Yes, a lot.  I complained about work, I complained about my finger hurting, I complained about people doing things wrong, I complained about system not working and not being able to figure it out.  Today I complained.

2.  How did I observe?  Dow much did I talk?  I am not sure how to tackle teaching myself to become more observant but I am going to try but I'm mostly going to ask the Lord to reveal to me ways to become more observant.  I believe that I will become more observant just by shutting my mouth more.

1.  What did I reward in the Bible? Yes.  Proverbs 1-3. I'll probably read them again too. Moreover a contains so much wisdom, guidance, and advice.  I really feel like I'm at a point where I need to engulf God's wisodm.  

2015 - Every New Day

A good friend whom I respect for her heart, depth, and life example recently posted her goals for 2015.   She encouraged her readers to post theirs.  It dawned on me, that I haven't made any.  In fact, I really haven't officially made any goals in years!  Sure I have had goals here and there, but officials ones, where I write them down, and WORK to meet them....wow!  It's been a long time.  The funny thing is, people come to me on a regular basis for guidance (mostly professionally) on how to succeed or improve.  One of the first things I would say is to write out your goals and how you would accomplish them.  So I am thankful, extremely thankful, for my friends encouragement and challenge to come up with 2015 goals.  So I thought about them, and came up with some realistic goals that I will challenge myself with this year.  When I finished there were six.  I don't like the number six much so I worked a little longer to add one more.  Ah!  The number seven.  Such comfort and peace with the number seven, so I stopped there.

7.  Floss Daily

I know this sounds kind of silly, but I have this weird fascination with my teeth and I use to be a floss nazi.  Over the past year, life has been crazy, so I fell out of the routine of flossing daily.

6.  Give myself a budget and stick with it

Working downtown now, it is really easy to spend money.  Eating lunch is easy $10 if not more.  No one really has plans for lunch on a regular basis and I can easily get caught up with the social hour and go to lunch at the drop of a hat on a daily basis some weeks.  If I have a budget, I'll stick with it and have to just say no.

5. Appreciate Now

I want to appreciate each day I experience.  I don't want to live for tomorrow, or Friday, or even next week.  I want to live in the now and really embrace it.  I want to write on a daily basis what was great about today, what was difficult, how did I succeed, how did I fail, how can I learn from where I failed.  Did I meet my goals today?  If not, why not? A boss I had a few years ago encouraged me to do this and it never really stuck.  I'm finally gonna try and make it stick Dixie :)

4.  Encourage More

About a year ago it dawned on me that I love to encourage people.  I inconsistently sent out cards to encourage people that the Lord laid on my heart but as He continued to lay people on my heart and I allowed distractions and the day to day to keep me from listening and sending those cards out.  This year I want to hear from God the people He wants me to encourage and be obedient to this precious gift He has given me.

3.  QUIT complaining

Oh my goodness!  Anyone who knows me knows I vocalize every thought I have.    This means complaining....a lot!  As someone who strives to live a life that glorifies Christ, I should be able to live my life without complaint.  I mean, let's get real, I am so beyond blessed it is ridiculous for me to think I have the right to complain about anything, much less the things I complain about.  They are dumb!  I need to get over it and realize the complaining I do takes away from the awesomeness God does in my life on a daily basis and therefore, hurts the witness He has entrusted me with.

2.  Observe More, Speak Less

A friend at work has pointed out to me on many many occasions that I am not observant...of anything and for my entire life I have been told I talk too much.  I've also been told I share too much, reveal too much about myself, etc. etc.  two verses stick out to me:

James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God

Proverbs 29:20 Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? There is more hope of a fool than of him.

I want to observe more and speak less

1.  Read My Bible daily.  I strive for this all the time yet I am constantly failing.  I don't want to fail anymore.  I want to know His word and know Him more.  I want to ahead Him and I can't expect that if I don't give Him the time He so desperately desires.

Thanks for the challenge Allison!  It's been a good time to really focus and I look forward to tracking these goals!